Minimum Wage
What's up with that crazy minimum wage, anyway? It's not like anybody could actually live on that, could they? Could you? What if you had to live on it some day? Plus, it's dragging our salaries downward.
Minimum Vacation
Our favorite paycheck party proposal guarantees anyone who works 30 paid vacation days a year, plus holidays. Could save the travel industry in one fell swoop and reduce unemployment drastically.
Minimum Health Care
If 47 million people are working their rear ends off for bosses too cheap to buy them health care insurance, then why not pass a law making it illegal to not give it to them? No more deductions from your paycheck, either. Not in the paycheck party way of doing things!
Minimum Pension Plan
Why privatize social security when it works fine just the way it is. Sure, it's not enough money to live on, but that's where a law requiring businesses to save money for when you are ready to retire for you is needed. And you keep it even if you quit or get fired, too.
Haven't you noticed that all the bosses and their friends get enormous amounts of severance pay? The wages paid for failure for the vast majority of the paycheck party is a pink slip and a back stabbing reccomendation. Generally speaking, some kind of layoff or job loss is the only 'pay' you earn for even doing a decent or mediocre job, as long as you work long enough. You have to be a paycheck-stub-carrying member of the paycheck party to even have a chance of realizing that there's an undeclared war going on against us once we hit forty, especially the men.
The bosses and bankers and all their little buddies have got the whole spectrum of business and accounting law set up very nicely for them. They can buy a thriving company like yours tomorrow and drive it right into the ground and make more money in a year than they could in a decade of profits with their so-called golden parachutes and accounting tricks and bonuses and outright thievery. And it leaves hundreds of thousands of paycheck party constituents with destroyed lives and nothing but the hopes of getting another job at half the pay of the last one.
It's one of the hallowed rights of corporations, which, as you might know, have all the rights of citizenship in our great country, that they should be able to fire anyone at any time for any or no reason whatsoever. And give them nothing any more valuable for their years of loyalty and service than a kick in the ass and a security-guard escort out the door. This right is more jealously guarded than any of the constitutional rights of the paycheck party, strangely enough, since it's also a long-established fact of law that the constitutional rights of the paycheck party cease the moment you accept employment.
The paycheck party, if we wake up and start thinking of ourselves as such, has so much work to do to bring this country back around to serving our interests instead of the bosses. It's an almost endless amount of laws and privileges for the bosses to overturn and reverse. But we could start with a nice, generous, iron-clad, exception-free, dirt-simple minimum severance pay law to protect our jobs, discourage them from firing us for little or no reason, and make it financially difficult to drive a business into the ground and make money doing it the way they do today.
If the bosses woke up tomorrow and had to pay every single member of the paycheck party a severance packet when they fired us they would think a lot longer and a lot harder about the costs of firing you. The minimum severance pay would be retroactive for all the years of service of any employee. The older workers they delight in downsizing and outsourcing to India will be the most expensive to fire if the law says you get a month's pay for every year of service like they get in Europe. If a cheese-eating america-hating latte-guzzling foreigner who can't even speak english can have a month's salary for every year he's worked when he quits or loses his job, then we should get it, too!
And the laws for buying, breaking up, and destroying a company need to be looked at, too. If the bosses sell off the assets of a company and line their pockets, the paycheck party should get MOST of the money, since they did the work to make the asset valuable to begin with. That's right, not just a cut, but most of the money. That's the way you think when you start thinking like the paycheck party instead of like the bosses' little pet.
All these multi-billion dollar golden parachutes the CEOs and top brass give themselves when they go bankrupt? Who should get that money instead of them? The paycheck party, that's right. Now you're starting to get it. And if there are any politicians out there reading this, take note. If you want to win an election on the strength of what you will do for the paycheck party instead of on the strength of the insults and calumny you can heap on your opponent, look no further.
If you are a diehard conservative who hates liberals click here.
If you are a bitter, angry liberal who hates conservatives click here.
If you make a lot of money but are kind of afraid that if you step out of line you might lose it all click here.
If you make a decent amount of money but are living from paycheck to paycheck and nervous about that click here.
If you don't make nearly enough money compared to what you ought to then click here.
If you are a minority or simply feel disenfranchised, click here.
But don't even click on any of the links above
if you think it's getting pretty obvious that no matter who you think you are, you are just a person who gets up and goes to work every day and is tired of being ignored by your own elected officials. I hope you are starting to get the idea that 'divide and conquer' is the simple and effective strategy that the politicians and bosses have been using for years to keep us confused about what they should be doing for us.
